There’s a strange paradox in our world today: while men are accused of being oppressive, many of them have also lost sight of what true masculinity means. The result is a society where misguided masculinity breeds resentment, and resentment breeds man-hating feminism. Both sides lose, and both stem from the same root, a departure from God’s original design.
I was recently reminded of this while sitting on a beach in Chennai, simply watching the waves and enjoying. An elderly astrologer approached me, asking if she could read my fortune. Such encounters are common on Indian beaches, where many rely on these practices for their livelihood. I smiled and told her, “It will be good for you to be blessed, that’s all I want, not a reading.”
She smiled and said something that caught me off guard: “You will be blessed with seven wives for who you are...great man!”
I paused, realizing she expected me to be thrilled, perhaps even impressed. Instead, I asked her gently, “Why do you think having seven wives is a blessing? What makes you think that’s a sign of masculinity (or in her lingo, "a great man)?”
She began quoting old mythologies, particularly the story of a warrior from a pagan mythology, who, in some folk retellings, is said to have had many wives. Turning it into a symbol of virility and success. But this distortion, repeated through generations, has become embedded in the cultural psyche as a mark of manhood.
I didn’t have time for a deep theological discussion, but I told her what I believe: that true masculinity isn’t about the number of women surrounding you, but the depth of love and faithfulness you show to the one woman you’ve committed to. As I explained the idea of one holy and sacramental marriage, she seemed surprised yet unaccepting, as if she had never imagined that fidelity could be the higher virtue of manhood.
Walking away, I couldn’t stop thinking about how deeply society has misunderstood manhood. Even women, like the astrologer, have internalized the idea that a man’s worth is measured by dominance, possession, or physical control. This is the same distortion that creates the very anger and resentment modern feminism often expresses toward men.
The truth, however, is that masculinity, as God designed it, is not domination but devotion. It is not superiority but sacrifice.
In Ephesians 5, Paul writes, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” (Ephesians 5:25) That single line dismantles every notion of chauvinism that history and culture have built. Biblical masculinity is not about ruling over a woman, but leading through love.
The husband’s headship is a calling to bear the cross, not to wield control. When both live in this divine complementarity, love that leads and respect that uplifts, gender roles cease to be a battlefield and become a reflection of divine harmony.
Many men, however, reject this model. Some idolize a caricature of masculinity built on aggression, entitlement, and self-worship, the very attitudes popularized by figures like Andrew Tate. Others retreat entirely, ashamed or confused about what being a man even means anymore.
Both extremes are equally destructive. The first feeds oppression; the second fuels resentment. Together, they create a vacuum where feminism, in its most hostile form, thrives, not as a pursuit of equality, but as retaliation.
Man-hating feminism isn’t born out of thin air. It is a reaction to centuries of male failure, men who abused power instead of protecting it, who sought pleasure instead of purpose.
If we are to heal this cultural divide, men must rediscover masculinity as Christ defined it, not as dominance, but as discipleship. To be a man is to serve, to protect, to lead by love, and to bear responsibility.
When men become who God calls them to be, women are freed to flourish as God designed them to be. There is no war between the sexes in the Kingdom, only unity built on complementarity.
The truest image of masculinity is not a king on a throne, but a Savior on a cross.